Last Saturday, we started a series on why office affairs seem difficult to break. Today, we shall proceed with the continuation. Lopsided libidoral match is a common complaint among women who seek office sexual pleasure outside their matrimonial bed, particularly among those married to men far older than they are, or women who possess a higher sexual libido. It is also common among women in their second or third marriages.
It is no longer a taboo today to see women possessing a high insatiable sexual appetite, and the moment these cravings are in short supply, the tendencies to seek for availability is usually on the rampage. The other Thursday, I paid a visit to a famous shop on Victoria Island and as I was about entering the store, I noticed a loudspeaker van neatly parked not too far from the store. As I moved nearer, the salesman came out with a microphone singing the praise of some aphrodisiac drug for women. To my surprise, a number of women crowded round this man to examine the products in public! Before now, such was not common, but times are changing fast. Many husbands are not aware of the fact that their wives have more sexual taste bud than they have especially when these wives are highly enlightened and exposed. Many wives with high insatiable sexual appetites now go for artificial penis, younger penis andany available penis while they give excuses of working late at work. One of the reasons why this is rampant is the fact that many of their husbands do not really care to sexually satisfy them or they are down with different kinds of erectile dysfunction cases and are not ready to find solution to such ailment. Also sometimes, such husbands are not sexually experienced, relevant or inspiring sexually. They either don’t care or do not take the feeling of the wives into recognition.
Imbalance sexual drive is a culprit why married women seek sexual pleasure at work places. I have seen what happens to marriages when husbands have little or no desire for sex and the wives yearn for it desperately.
Read what a woman said during a recent visit to my office.
‘Please help me. I am 38, married to a 53-year-old man with a three-year-old daughter. For the past three years, my husband has avoided being sexual with me. We have gone from having sex twice a week to now, if I am lucky, once in four months. I am miserable and I cannot keep living like this; sex means a lot to me. Many times, I have to excuse myself from the living room to anywhere to masturbate. I am not only addictive masturbator but I have all sorts of didos but I will give all these up for my husband to just give me sex just once in a week. I am ashamed to say this to my friends but please, I am dying gradually without sex. And to make it worse, I have begun to fall for one of my office workers who has history of going for more than one rounds with sexually starved women with no fees attached. This is not a new thing in my office but my problem is, will this not destroy my marriage?’
One out of every three couples struggle with problems associated with low sexual desire. One study found that 20 per cent of married couples have sex fewer than 10 times a year! In addition, low sexual desire is not only “a woman’s thing.” Many sex experts believe that low sexual desire in men is the world’s best-kept secret. People with low sexual desire are generally married to partners who want more sex; those whose sexuality, intimacy, physical closeness, and connection are extremely on high demand. Sex is an extremely important part of marriage. When it is good, it offers couples opportunities to give and receive physical pleasure, to connect emotionally and spiritually. It builds closeness, intimacy, and a sense of partnership. Husband, if your libido is lacking, remember that your most powerful sexual organ is your brain. In order to feel more sexual, you first have to decide that a loving, satisfying sex life and marriage are important. Then commit to finding your untapped sexuality strength within.
Although once in a while, every man, even with the highly sexed husbands, experiences occasional lows in their sex drive. However, when a husband’s libido is nowhere to be found, there is danger. There are many reasons to stretch oneself for solution because unsatisfying sexual relationships often cause disaffection, isolation, division, alienation, free office infidelity, and divorce. In most relationships, the spouse with the lower desire sets the pace for the sexual relationship, controlling when and how it happens. Am I saying you should have sex any time your spouse desires or that you should go through the motions just to keep peace? No! Many husbands with lower sex drives are essentially saying, “I know you’re sexually unhappy. I won’t do anything about that, but I still expect you to remain faithful.” Can you see what is wrong with this picture? What many of such husbands get at the end of the day is a woman who has got hooked with an office affair and finds it hard to break because of the satisfaction and fulfilment. It is best for a partner not to be sexually involved with another fellow who makes the victim sexually satisfied than his or her legally married partner. When this is the order of the day, such victim may be forever hooked sexually to the person that brings him or her to the point of no return when it comes to sexual satisfaction. When you decide to make sexuality more important, you and your wife will become more emotionally connected and you can trust her sincerity. You will not only feel closer to your wife, but you might also discover your sexual appetite has not really vanished; it was merely camouflaged maybe because of stress, sickness or work! Knowing why you are not so interested in sex will not boost your desire, doing something about it will.
There are practical ways out. You can adopt the ‘old Nike slogan solution’ which says, “Just do it.” Are you wondering how? Will having sex when I am not in the mood boost my desire? Human sexuality experts once assumed all people experience sexual desire in a similar way: something triggers a sexy thought, which triggers an urge to act. Sexual stimulation then makes you feel aroused. However, recent studies show that for some husbands, sexual desire does not precede arousal; it actually follows it. Some husbands rarely (or never) find themselves fantasising about sex, but when they become sexual with their wives anyway, they become aroused. Once aroused, there is a desire to continue.
Just because a husband is not hungry for sex does not mean he has a problem with arousal. Lots of husbands with low sexual desire actually enjoy sex once they get started. Now listen, hormones do not have to be raging; you do not need an overwhelming feeling of passion. Many times, husbands with lower desire have sexual urges; they are just more subtle than their wife’s is. Husbands, you might notice your wife looks great in her tight short jeans and have a fleeting thought about sex. The thought may not linger
Quickly seize the opportunity; take her there and march her straight to the bedroom. Make her bend over the side of the bed so her stomach and breasts are against the mattress and her feet are on the floor, legs spread comfortably. As you, the husband penetrate her from behind, lift her legs from just above the knees, hold them apart, and thrust in and out. With her body angled slightly downward and her legs apart, you will get deep penetration. Moreover, since her hips are in your grip, you can thrust away with total abandon. In addition, you can easily view her sexy rear and watch yourself move in and out of her. Your penis is perfectly slanting for her pleasure and when you are getting close to climaxing, shift your hands from her hips to her clitoris. This sudden but subtle adjustment will make for an extra lively ending as you gain even more control.
Alternatively, you may decide to give her the ‘stand and deliver sex’ still wearing her tight short jeans by making her lean against a wall with her legs slightly spread, facing you. Just grab onto the back of her thighs and hold them against your hips, lifting her up and pushing her back into the wall for an advantage, then thrust away as though you are cruising a new car. The fact that you both are up-close-and-personal, your wife’s cravings for face-to-face intimacy is fully delivered with guarantee. In addition, stand-up sex also scratches that I-need-you-now itch that plagues passionate wives; this position is primal and versatile — perfect for a quickie.” In addition, tell her to squeeze her thighs together, this will narrow her vaginal canal, which in turn enhances the friction you will feel., but it is there. Rather than allow these moments to go unnoticed, heed them and act on them fast.
Again, tell your wife to lie on her side with her arms above her head. With you on your side and your body perpendicular to hers, tell her to slowly raise her top leg while you inch your lower body between her legs. Once you are joined at the groin, grab her shoulders while she anchors herself on the floor. This sideways sex position is one for the record books that your wife would not forget in a hurry! On top of the typical thrusting, you two can enjoy some serious shallow grinding. Moreover, this new entry angle allows you to explore every inch of her inner chamber, especially the often-ignored sides, providing you with an array of options; it will not take much to send your sex drive flying.
Some husbands with low desire say they’re more interested in making love under certain conditions—at certain times of the week, after a huge contracts, or a good raise at work, on vacation or after a long erotic massaging. Identify what is different about the times you feel more inclined, and take advantage of those moments. In other words, if cold baths turn you on, go into the shower or bathroom with your wife and act it out. Try acting more sexual. Mr. Victor, a 42-year-old orthopaedic nurse, was in my office with his wife. After intensive counselling section, he discovered that the key to boosting his interest in sex was watching his wife bathing/ sleeping naked under the cloth and watching erotic educative films together. This does not only heighten his interest in sex, but also draws him closer to his wife.
To those older husbands who are married to younger women, there will be times when you really do not feel like having sex. Instead of just saying no or “I’m too old for that,” which feels like a rejection to your wife, offer an alternative. You could say outright, ‘come have sex with me’. Alternatively, “honey my body needs a massage’ after which I’d love to go on a sex trip with you”. Remember sex is a gift; make up your mind to give the gift of being sexual even when you do not feel like it. Some studies suggest that as many as high percentage of men say their sex drive is not what it used to be before initiating sex but after initiating it, the sex drive skyrocketed. In addition to this, the use of natural herbs against weak erection, erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation is available for a permanent one off cure and the permanent effect of this will take you from a zero level to surplus level.
Another reason why many married women secretly seek sexual pleasure outside their marriage is when they find themselves married to husbands with small penis and who do not smartly put it to use or ready to do anything about it. The bigger the better is the slogan of many women today. As I said earlier on, husbands with such challenge can now smile because of the newly discovered Chinese herbs that have been making waves with fantastic result. Do not let your union become a sex-starved union; create intimacy by meeting her desires, it serves as an assurance of commitment to one another. According to researches, many wives with husbands who are not well endowed crave for bigness and fullness. Although many may and will not voice it out, nature has made it in such a way that you always yearn for what you don’t have.
Source- Funmi AkingbadeFollow on twitter Follow @BeautifulBlogga